Hi on a gloomy Friday and after spending what seemed an age trying to get some Oasis tickets for Heaton Park here’s a ditty for the day.

Pools win won’t change me

Reporter: ‘Tell me, Mr Harris, will your £1,000,000 win on the football pools make any difference to your way of life?’

Pools winner: ‘None at all. I shall carry on exactly as before.’

Reporter: ‘But what about all the begging letters?’

Pools winner: ‘Oh, I’ll keep sending them out as usual.’

We are again experiencing problems with teams not turning up when their team are playing in the CL this is a problem especially when they don’t even let us no .When you all sign up to play in  a  Soccer Zone league you commit to play each week and if you fail to turn up you are letting your oppo and the league down .We will be monitoring the situation this term and if teams continually flout the rules they will receive point deductions and extra fines. On a lighter note:

Horse goalie

There was once a football match between two small village teams. The visitors were surprised to see that the home team’s goalkeeper was a horse.

The horse played extremely well and it was mainly due to him that the home team won. After the match the visiting captain said to the home captain,

‘How on earth did a horse ever learn to keep goal like that’

‘How does anyone learn’ answered the home captain. ‘Practice, practice, practice!’

Hi again its been a while just thought i,d let you know whats going on in the Soccer Zone World .We have places available at present in Warrington Halton Oldham and Bury .If you join before Christmas 08 you will receive Free Kit or £50 cashback .

Toilets are miles away

Two men were at a football match and it was just seconds away from kick-off.

“Man,” said the first man, “I’m bursting for a pee, and the toilets are miles away”

“Don’t worry,” said the second man. “You see that bloke in front of you? Just pee up his leg.”

“Are you crazy?” said the first man, “that bloke’s massive.”

“Oh,” said the second man, “he won’t notice anything.”

“How do you know?” said the first man.

“Because I’ve just peed up yours!” said the second man.